Preface to Moon Madness

Before releasing a blog on Moon Madness I felt it necessary to explain my reason for writing. I left the Unification Church and Rev. Moon nearly 13-years-ago, shortly after my release from a Brazilian mental institution; and though I’ve maintained contact with a few church friends who periodically enlighten me as to church affairs, my interest in the organization has waned. And though I’ve moved on in life, stories from my past life have lingered like an ornery ghost in a haunted castle, and I had pretty much resolved to carry the unpolished gems to the grave. That was until I met the girl next door, Megan, a lovely lady who has become my lover, editor and muse. It was she who urged me to break out the pen and get busy. So I took her advice and began talking to some old church friends as well as sniffing around the internet. What I discovered is that not much in the church has changed: same problems, different players. Corruption, mass marriages, abuse, tong wars, takeovers, internecine warfare continue ad nauseam. Boring! Boring! Boring!

Frankly, digging up dirt on the church or bombing away on issues like brainwashing or world domination does not inspire. Besides, in my 27 years of traversing the Moon landscape I never came in contact with a brainwashed convert; stupid yes, crazy yes, delusional yes, greedy yes, but brainwashed? I don’t think so. And the idea of a grand Messianic conspiracy is even more laughable; for neither the Reverend, nor his lackey lieutenants, possesses the wherewithal to conceive, let alone pull off, such machinations.

No, Rev. Moon, like most self-proclaimed Messiahs, is a pompous, self serving, megalomaniac who uses charisma and fear to fuel his dwindling, yet lucrative, empire. But like houses built on sand, the empire has been gradually eroding for years, and will soon be just another footnote religious history. At 90, Rev. Moon, exhausted and consumed with his own funeral (Messiahs must have glorious exits), is now passing the faulty structure to his kids (he has 13 legitimate ones), who appear to have inherited his unquenchable thirst for power. I suppose the smell of Kimchee never strays too far from the soup pot.

So if you’re thirsty for startling revelations on Moon’s crumbling castle, best find another watering hole (there’s always Google). The Unification Church has been slowly slipping into a pauper’s grave for years, and I have no interest in hurling the last handful of dirt.

After all, who knows, had I not joined the church I might have died of a drug overdose; or, worse, been elected to congress. Ergo, I do believe that penning these zany tales will hopefully provide closure for me and possibly offer a few rays of light—and giggles—for the reader. When appropriate, of course, I will hurl in morsels of commentary; however, most of the madness stands on its own.

As I advance in years, my brain cells have atrophied; hence some pertinent, or, in many cases, impertinent, facts have floated into the stratosphere, nary to be heard from again. So if a reader finds fault, please inform me through email—or mental telepathy—and I shall do my best to offer corrections. Interestingly, after posting the Moon Madness advertisement one church friend emailed and suggested I rename the blog Marc Madness. This shall be taken under serious consideration. Another member thought I should go easy on the Americans, since they are the perceived victims—the good guys if you will. Years ago I would have agreed, but after much rumination I find it inaccurate to fulminate against the Koreans and Japanese, while giving a free pass to the honkies; for I no longer perceive the church in terms of black and white, good and evil, good guys and bad guys; what I do see, however, is a dumpster filled to the brim with dumb and dumber.

And how dumb was I? I threw a big wager on Moon; he looked good out of the gate, started to fade a bit at the half mile pole, and like a horse running on three legs faltered badly in the stretch. It cost me dearly, 27 years of my life, but it was me who placed the bet. Such is life. Win a few, lose a few. Anyway, I’m just happy I finally saw the light, jumped from the sinking ship (into frigid waters I might add) and swam away with half of my brain still in tact. Enjoy!